Last night as my teenage daughter was sharing her struggles with me, I found myself wanting to talk and give advice so badly. I knew I could help her “fix” things because I am her mom, right? I mean I’ve got 26 years on her. I do think I know a thing or two about being a teenage girl.

As I sat quietly and semi-patiently listening, I thought I was going to bust. I could barely stand it. I even started feeling a little anxious with sweaty palms and shallow breaths. I wiggled in my seat and adjusted my posture several times as I thought to myself, keep your mouth shut and listen to her Linda.

Why in the world is it so hard for us to just sit and listen?

Why do we feel the need to fix, rescue, advise or control when others just simply need to be heard?

I believe when we are faced with experiencing someone else’s pain, it brings up our “stuff”, our deep personal pains.

It takes courage to slow down long enough to become aware of how we are feeling and be present with another.

There’s an acronym I learned in coaching school that has been an invaluable tool for me as a coach, parent, wife and friend.

WAIT. Why Am I Talking?

When I find myself desperately wanting to talk (because oh how I love to talk!), I’ll say, “WAIT, Why am I talking?” and that usually quiets me long along to gain self-awareness.

I am then able to ask myself questions like, what are you feeling, why are you uncomfortable or what are you afraid of?

It reminds me of James 1:19, one of those graciously humbling scriptures if you know what I mean? Be quick to listen and slow to speak.

So how can you slow down and practice courage while listening to others today? I would love to hear from you! Leave me a comment below.

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