Let’s get real here, every single person on this planet struggles with truly loving him or herself. I mean why in the world do we constantly numb ourselves with social media, food, work, alcohol, shopping, TV, Starbucks, fill in the blank________!
So how do we truly love ourselves?
Well, the first thing is to forget about following a “How To” step-by-step guide on loving yourself. If “How To” really worked then I would not be writing this blog post right now. Think about the millions of how to guides out there already.
Each one of us is a unique and special individual so what works for me might not work for you. However, there is one thing I’ve learned through many years of counseling and coaching that works every time.
Community!
What? How can community teach me how to love myself?
When we are around like-minded people we discover a sense of belonging that opens ourselves up to the possibility of acceptance {self-acceptance}, worth {self-worth}, and love {self-love}.
So what I would like to do is to invite you into a discussion on my blog today around numbing. What things are you using to avoid what you’re feeling?
I’ll go first! I eat carbs and sugars when I’m emotional! I’ll do a quick Starbucks run to give me a warm hug of comfort when I’m feeling sad. I’ll hop over to Social Media for a dose of comparison that will either puff up my ego or deflate it when I’m feeling insecure.
Ughhh! I did it! I shared with you some things that I’m not too proud of, but it’s out there. Now, will you join me in this discussion? What do you use to numb or avoid what your feeling?
Before we start this dialog, let’s pray the truth over our conversation.
Gracious Heavenly Father,
We stand together on Your divine word and claim it over our lives today. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1” We pray for strongholds to be broken as we come together in a community and discover how to truly love ourselves as You have always desired before time began. We pray for no judgment from one another, but simply love. In Jesus Name we pray, Amen
I cannot wait to hear from you! Leave your comment below! ((hugs))
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I struggle with accepting my body. I know this seems so silly but when I see women in the media, etc. that seem to have the perfect body it makes me feel bad like I don’t measure up. I’m not grossly obese, just not supermodel material. lol. I need to start measuring my worth in Christ and not in what I see in the world. 🙂 Yes, I have insecurities here. Hard to admit it, but I do.
Kelley, thank you for sharing. (((hugs))) We are in this together 🙂
I love your blog! And I second this all the way:
“I eat carbs and sugars when I’m emotional! I’ll do a quick [coffee] run to give me a warm hug of comfort when I’m feeling sad. I’ll hop over to Social Media for a dose of comparison that will either puff up my ego or deflate it when I’m feeling insecure.”
I’m just realizing that sharing vulnerability in community is helping so much! Thanks for all you share and do~
Thank you Megan!! You just gave me a virtual ((hug)) 😉 And thank you for sharing.
I am another one who loves most sweets, hot coffee, and a good read. Or I will putter around the kitchen, usually making more sweets! My biggest “downer” lately is keeping up with the dusting, mopping, etc! Martha Stewart I am not ; )
Girl I am with you on the Martha Stewart thing! 😉 LOL Thank you for sharing!
I sit and don’t do anything! But get mad at myself for not doing anything! But, I sit feeling sorry for myself! And around it goes!
I’ve done that too Dorothy! Thank you for sharing 🙂
I play candy crush to just zone out so I don’t have to think. It is a time sucker and I wish I never started playing.
Randi, I’ve heard other people talk about Candy Crush too. I’ve never played it. Hey at least you don’t take in any calories for that…LOL!
I have to laugh at this. I started playing Candy Crush just last week and I’m hooked!
Oh Joycelyn you better quit now before you get trapped….LOL
I get quiet. I am normally a chatter box but when I’m feeling ugly and fat, or mad or depressed, I sit and relish on it. I don’t eat or drink anything right away because that would only make me fatter and uglier in that state of mind. Years ago, I use to smoke, and considered THAT my crutch, how incredibly gross that was. I still get quiet, but I guess if I’m alone, I will run to my vanilla ice cream with Nestle’s special dark chips sprinkled on top! I could eat that 24 hours and never loose my smile…I swear!
Kathy, I have a love-hate relationship with my sweets too 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing. ((hugs))
I am such an emotional eater. i overeat when tired, sad, happy, anxious or just don’t know what to do next. Then, I feel awful about my actions. Those overeating moments are my “numbing” mechanisms and that is not what I need. I need to learn to control my urges to eat when food is not what my body needs. Working on it as we speak. Today was not a good food choice day, but, I pray, with God’s help, tomorrow will be better. 🙂
To keep from feeling – I watch hours of TV, or I read mysteries or romance novels, then I hunt through the cabinets and frig for junk foods (sweets, carbs, snacks), my iPad is never very far away – FB and twitter must be checked every few hours – you never know what may be missed, candy crush and let rescue saga, 7 little words or word warp can occupy more time. Anything to waste time and get thru the day. Anything to avoid housework, exercise, or bible studying or time with God.
Thank you Catherine for being open and real. Love you!!
I can so identify with you. We have to keep trying and asking God to help us overcome our hurts, habits and hangups. I’ll be praying for you. Sometimes I feel all alone in my struggles but thanks for sharing.
To dull my emotional pain I drink wine (at night), eat chocolate or cakes during the day and often take OTC sleeping tablets to make my brain switch off so I don’t have to think about how unhappy I am
Sue thank you for being open and transparent here. Love & ((hugs))
I’d say I’m like a lot of others in that I tend to consume my time online with reading Facebook or emails. I’m single and even though I love to cook, I tend to not always eat the healthiest because of not wanting to go through all the effort for myself. I also get overwhelmed with all that is on my plate (work, home and hobbies) and then get paralyzed and can’t seem to do any of it which leads to frustration.
Thank you for being bold and honest, Linda. I am finding that I fall into the trap of listening to Satan’s deceitful judgement. It takes me a few days, maybe weeks to overcome this by taking a stand, making a choice to stop thinking this way and turning to the Joy I know that Christ brings to my life. I know that I can choose to pick up my Bible and be reminded of Christ’s love; unfortunately it is difficult for me to remain there. I have this on a sticky note: “Out of all creation, you became His prized possession” James 1:18. A solid reminder for me to turn toward Him.
This is a good topic to discuss. I have two main things that I’ve used my whole life to numb myself and be unaware of my surroundings. One is the TV. I have it on all the time. It’s scary to me to have silence. When things were bad at home I could watch a family on TV and long to be with them. I especially like movies that have dad’s that take time for their kids and family. Since I had nothing but pain from my dad I really liked the movie “Three Men and a Baby” or Three Men and a Lady”. I thought she was so lucky because she had 3 men that loved her. The other thing that medicates me is chocolate. I used to steal money from my mom’s purse to buy candy. My mom worked nights and was home when we were at school and visa versa. So we never had family stuff to do as a family. I bought so much candy and always had money that even the store people noticed and told my mom about it but she was so tired and not interested in us to find out what was going on. My dad was bi-polar and they argued a lot and we had to walk like we were walking on egg shells because we never knew when he would blow up. I pray for my parents. They’ve been married 68 years in Jan. and they still can’t talk nice to each other. My older sister found her escape in reading books. I wish I had developed an interest in reading. There are so many great books and tapes I have and haven’t gotten to them yet. It’s so hard to concentrate on reading a book. I’ve made a lot of bad choices in my life that I would like to redo but life has no do overs. It’s hard to know how to feel and give love. My dad loved horses and so did my younger sister so he let her have a horse, belong to a riding club and have all the expense that went with it. So he spent a lot of time with her but she says it wasn’t quality time like I thought it was. I wanted to take piano lessons but they couldn’t spend money on that. It hurt also when my dad went to both my sisters graduation and wouldn’t go to mine. I didn’t mean to make this so sad but I hope it is okay to get it out.
When I am an emotional wreck I simply “run away” from my environment. I guess I learned this from my Mom. When my siblings and I were teenagers my Mom would leave for a few hours or even a day. She would call my Dad and tell him not to be alarmed, that she had checked into a hotel to escape the chaos. I now understand why. (lol). So hang in there my sisters. We will get through this by the grace of GOD! Luv you all!
Thank you for sharing Linda… It was so encouraging to me to see God confirming what has been happening in my life lately concerning be able to love myself…Over the last year I have been involved in the online bible studies through Proverbs 31 and I have slowly but surely noticed that I have been feeling better about myself and more encouraged and confident… I know that I still have a ways to go… But you are so right about being around like minded people (: I jump on so oil media too… Just like you shared and I hate to admit it but I can make a whole pan of brownies disappear in 24 hrs all by myself! I think we are a work in progress , but I am so thankful that The Lord brought me to these online groups… I have been so blessed by all of you. Thank you for everything you do… (:
Sherri, thank you for being here on the blog! Brownies…warm…ugh I could totally eat an entire pan. Great minds think alike! LOL ((hugs))
I clean. I don’t just clean, I become almost obsessed with cleaning and everyone had better stay out of my way! I work so fast and so hard that when I stop, I fall over with exhaustion. I am so focused on the cleaning that I can completely numb my brain to any thoughts, any conversation, any inadequate feelings. But that still does not satisfy.
I often times use social media to numb myself. I’m working at putting it down and letting it go. I wake up with it and go to bed with it. I should be more focused on my God and all He has planned for me!
Thank you for being here Cristy for commenting! Social media is such an easy one to use to numb ourselves with because we have constant access to it. ((hugs))
I too eat carbs and sugar, especially chocolate is my downfall.
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