I frantically paced the bathroom floor.
Back and forth, back and forth as I rubbed my sweaty palms together.
Breathe. You just need to remember to breathe Linda.
It was almost time for me to enter the classroom for the very first time and I thought I was going to have a panic attack.
This is totally crazy! Why in the world am I freaking out? I speak in front of people all the time. Why is this any different?
Honestly, I was puzzled by how I was physically reacting. I could literally hear my heart beating and I even felt light-headed.
I signed up over a month ago to take a class on public speaking and I was actually very excited about it. It was going to be fun and I was going to learn some new tips for engaging with my audience.
My talks were going to be recorded over the next two days and three exceptional speaking coaches would give me valuable feedback.
And therein lies the problem. FEEDBACK!
Anticipating feedback is what got me all bent out of shape. It sent me into the crazy land of what will “they” think about me. I could not believe it, but that sneaky little insecurity bug had bit me once again.
Insecurity is my nemesis. I would give anything to never deal with it again but for some reason it’s one of those things I’ve battled with my entire life.
And what’s even worse is that I just wrote a blog post about this very same thing a few weeks ago.
I wish I could tell you that I took my own advice from that blog and envisioned everyone’s opinions bouncing right off of me as I immersed myself in the holy truth, that I am a talented and gifted daughter of the Most High King. But that would be a BIG FAT LIE!
Nope for the 2 days I was in class I was sweating bullets. I was pretty much a ball of nervous energy. Yep! Little miss Christian Life Coach here really needed to take some of my own advice.
Driving home Friday evening after my last class I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to go straight to bed and pull the covers over my head. All my insecurities had just about sucked the life out of me. Seriously! I am not kidding.
I was disappointed that I had struggled so much over the course of a 48 hour period. While I was in class, I really didn’t felt comfortable in my own skin and I sure as heck never landed in my sweet spot while I was speaking. I just felt like a mess.
It’s five days later as I’m writing this blog post and boy oh boy have I gained a new perspective on this whole experience! If you would have asked me last week what my take away was from stepping outside my comfort zone I might have told you, don’t do it! EVER! I’m sure of it.
But today I can say with 100% confidence that I am so stinkin proud of myself for pushing through my fears and leaning into discomfort.
After this experience of stretching myself and stepping waaaay outside my comfort zone, I have a much greater awareness of myself. I learned when you are confident, it radiates through your every word, mannerisms and how you carry yourself. And when I stay connected to my one true source (God) I am the most authentic true self I can possibly be.
Let me tell you, focusing on our imperfections is down right exhausting! And I believe that’s another reason why this class was so hard for me.
But looking back I can now see that when we choose to focus on our strengths, boldness and security we blossom into exactly who God created us to be! With confidence I can say that is where God has me today as I write this post.
I’m challenging you dear reader to examine where you are in life and where you want to be? Are you willing to step outside your comfort zone? What will be the cost of not stretching yourself?
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Journal with God: Write in your journal asking God to show you His holy truth about who you are in His eyes. After journaling, read over what He spoke. Spend some time receiving these truths allowing them to soak deep in your heart.
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